DAY 38

I woke up feeling very out of sorts. I continue having disturbing dreams, some I can remember when I wake up, some leave me with a feeling of dread even though I can't remember the details. A friend posted this image on Facebook. I found it to be very informative. I see several of these at work with Miss Nine, and with myself.

The difficulty sleeping has eased in the last week or so. Miss Nine is now sleeping in our room because she feels safer, and she is sleeping through the night. We are both overplanning, organizing, and scheduling. Organization is our go to drug of choice when we feel out of control. I am getting angry more easily as I lose patience with everything and everybody. Dirty dishes left in the sink irritate me. The dog barking irritates me. Plenty of things are triggering my need to be in control of something, anything. I am angry at this virus and the way it is disrupting our lives. I am angry at the incompetence of our government in preparing for a situation like this. I am angry at the people who insist on gathering in large crowds and dragging this on longer.

This morning at breakfast I was trying to read ONE PAGE in a daily reader. Miss Nine was talking to me and I asked her to please be quiet while I finished reading. Then she raised her hand to get my attention. When I ignored her hand she started waving it in front of my face. I did not react well to that. I just wanted to read the page, which coincidentally was about maintaining your cool.