DAY 48

Another day of protests in Lansing. Hundreds of people, some carrying weapons, protested once again at our state capital. These folks are unhappy with the fact that Governor Whitmer has extended the stay at home order. I understand that people want to be able to go to work and support their families. What I do not understand are the people who think that their right to get a haircut outweighs another persons right to avoid catching this deadly virus.

I have not taken Miss Nine into a grocery store. I feel like the sight of so many masked people and empty shelves would be too much for her. She does not watch the news, and I am glad because I don't want her to have to try and make sense of this kind of behavior. I hope that the things she remembers about this time in her life is the way that people sacrificed to protect the lives of those most vulnerable.

I am worried about this virus, but honestly, I am more frightened of these gun toting, Trump sign carrying, grammar and spelling challenged individuals and what they represent.

DAY 47

It's a great time to be a vegetarian. Now we seem to be facing a shortage of meat, in addition to the toilet paper/hand sanitizer/Clorox wipe shortages. Meat processing plants are decreasing production or suspending operations because of Covid-19. I was at the grocery store today and the meat department was almost completely empty of fresh beef, chicken and pork There was still a good supply of processed meat if you are a bacon fanatic like my husband is. I found one package of ground beef and a frozen turkey breast. Fortunately I have a freezer that is well stocked with frozen chicken and beef.

I have heard about problems with the "supply chain." Farmers are still farming, but the processing plants are not able to keep up due to social distancing issues with their employees. I read that a poultry processing plant in Delaware was going to kill 2 million chickens, but they will not be processed for sales to grocery stores. This is unconscionable. It all points to the unsustainable nature of the way that we attain our food.

Most Americans, and I suspect in fact a good share of the world population, have lost sight of where their food comes from. Just a hundred or so years ago most people either grew their own food or bought it from local farmers. They knew exactly where their food came from, and it was not thousands of miles away. I really hope that one of the lessons we learn through this is how important it is to buy locally grown food. We should be supporting our farmers markets and turning our wasteful lawns into vegetable gardens.

According to a report by the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization the meat industry causes more greenhouse gases than either transportation or industry. Our appetite for meat is seriously contributing to the dangerous warming of our planet.

I am happy to report that the produce department was well stocked. I am mostly vegetarian but my family is not. They may have to be if this keeps up.

DAY 46

I read an article in the New York Times about the problems that parents are having with distance learning. I know what a challenge it is for me with one child, and I am an experienced home schooling mom. A parent who is already working their own job from home with multiple children to guide through many lessons a day is a recipe for a nervous breakdown. The incredible stress that we are all feeling makes it even more difficult to effectively guide our children. Miss Nine is normally very cheerful and cooperative, but as the weeks go on she is having more and more emotional outbursts. The inability to see her friends and other family members is probably the most difficult thing for her. I try to keep her engaged in real life activities like art, music and outdoor play, but more and more she wants to zone out in front of a screen. The more screen time she has, the crabbier she gets when she can't use a device. I totally understand, but I frequently lose my patience and we both end up crabby and miserable.

I am beginning to think about ways to reconnect her with her friends, even just one friend that she might be able to spend time with. At some point we have to put the mental health of our children, and ourselves, first. I am sure that we can do this carefully and safely. I have begun reaching out to other parents to explore this issue.

Our school has spirit weeks throughout the year where the kids have different themes for dress. Yesterday was Virtual Learners Day. As you can see, it could have been pajama day as well. Today was Red White and Blue day, but she had that mostly covered yesterday with those p.j.s. It's not quite as much fun for her to participate in these spirit days here at home. The kids can post their pictures on the school Facebook page, but it's not the same as seeing each other up close and personal. If I had to choose a Spirit Day for myself it would probably be Crazy Mom Day. Every day.

DAY 45

"So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is... fear itself -nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts..." These words were spoken in 1933 by Franklin D. Roosevelt in his inaugural address. This wisdom is just as relevant today as it was then. How have we come to be so afraid of our family members and neighbors? Social distancing in the name of physical health and safety are threatening to compromise the mental health of millions. I have spoken to people who are terrified when they go out into their communities for groceries, some who fear that they will never feel safe leaving home again.

Marianne Williamson has much to say about fear vs. love. 'The world, as we perceive it, is dominated by a thought system based on fear. Darkness is merely the absence of light and when you turn on the light, the darkness is gone'  I learned from her many years ago that every action and thought that we have is either based in fear or love. I have given much consideration to this over the last several weeks. It is certainly an act of love to stay at home in order to protect ourselves and those we love. It is fear that causes us to avoid any and all contact with others, to obsessively Clorox wipe our groceries or to wear a mask when you are walking down a mostly deserted street. The lack of clear direction from our leaders we are left with no choice but to make our own informed and thoughtful decisions regarding who we come in contact with, and what level of risk is just too much.

Critical thinking is a valuable tool in keeping fear at a distance. I remind myself that fears are not facts. I do not watch the news on t.v. and am selective about what I do read and listen to. I question everything. I make every effort to act out of love and to let my fears sit in a corner until they fade. I am only able to do this after years of practice.

It was a beautiful Spring day, sun shining and in the 60's. Miss Nine and I went for a bike ride with some neighbors. I worked in the yard and even managed to get College Boy out of the house. That in itself is no small accomplishment!

DAY 44

I heard once that if you do something for 21 days it becomes a habit. Well, here I am at day 44. More than twice the required days and yes, staying home has become a habit. I am not sure how I ever had time to go anywhere. Today I took a shower, hosted a Zoom meeting, worked in the yard, sewed twenty face masks, took a nap, fed my family, watched an episode of Little House on the Prairie, gave Miss Nine a bath, put her to bed and then watched an episode of Good Girls. That's a pretty full day. It's like this every day, with some school work thrown in Monday through Friday.

I have lost the desire to go much of anyplace except the grocery store. And to see my kids. And to go camping. When I picked up the swing for my daughter at Target the other day I had a little bit of a wish to go into the store, but then I thought, "what for?" I can order whatever I want without actually getting out of my car and wandering around, usually buying more than I went in for in the first place. Staying at home has curbed my impulse buying considerably.

The only family member who has not lost her desire to leave the house is Bella. We can't say the word w-a-l-k without all hell breaking loose.

DAY 43

As a long time member of a 12 step program I rely heavily on regular contact with others in recovery. I paid for a Zoom host account a few weeks ago so that my friends and I could have virtual meet ups during our isolation. You can get a free account but you are limited to 40 minute meetings. For $15 a month we have unlimited time. It has been well worth it. Seeing each others faces and talking about all of the issues we are dealing with is saving my sanity, and I believe that of my friends as well. Zoom has also made it possible for me to attend meetings in other cities that I usually only get to when I am visiting. I worry about people who are new to recovery and unable to attend meetings, or those who might seek a meeting at these incredibly stressful days

What an amazing time we live in. I had never heard of Zoom until mid March when Miss Nines teacher set up a meeting with her class. It seems that nearly everyone I know already knew about it or was actively using it for meetings at work or elsewhere. I have been accessing my work computer via LogMeIn for years. This saves me from having to go into the office for days at a time. Now I am ordering groceries and anything else I want online and having it delivered right to my door. I don't have to leave the house to visit with friends and family. Miss Nine is using FaceTime to talk to her dad and her friends. Goddess knows that I need to touch base with my therapist occasionally so I meet with her using doxy.me. I know folks who have had virtual appointments with their doctors. My husband is not very tech savvy. He is still learning how to use email, but he is making progress. We could live like this indefinitely if we weren't in danger of losing our shit and hurting each other.

Miss Nine decided this morning that she needed a bassinet for her baby doll. She was looking on Amazon for one. She insisted that we buy one for $50. The thing would not be delivered for weeks. I convinced her to look on some Facebook sale pages and she found one 10 miles away for $20. I sent a message and arranged for porch pickup. Within an hour she had her baby bed and spent the next couple of hours cleaning and rearranging her room to accomodate it. Then of course we had to play family again.

My husband reported that the boat launch has reopened, so I suspect that he and Miss Nine will be out on the water tomorrow. That makes me unbelievable happy. I really need a day without Barbies or Potato Heads, or playing family. Or my real family.

DAY 42

Weeks ago I created a spreadsheet to track the virus here in Michigan. Each day I copy the data from the state website which lists all kinds of information regarding the number of cases, deaths, percentages and recovery from covid-19. 

https://www.michigan.gov/Coronavirus 

It lists each county and the statistics relating to that county. I created this spreadsheet so that I could see the rise or fall of cases in our county. The website only shows the data for that day, and I wanted to be able to look back and see data from the early days. I also wanted to calculate the number of new cases each day. I have watched the numbers in our county go from 3 positive cases and 1 death on March 25th, to 312 cases and 11 deaths today. Each day for the last four days the number of new cases in Livingston county has dropped. The number of deaths has remained the same for 6 days. Today there were no new cases reported. Of the 78 counties listed 32 showed no new cases today, and 19 more only showed 1 or 2 new cases. Only 4 counties and the city of Detroit, which is counted seperately from the rest of Wayne county, have shown over 1000 cases overall. The city of Detroit is the highest at 8473. 57 counties have had less than 100 cases and 22 counties have had no deaths from the virus.

Somehow it is very comforting to me to be able to track these numbers. Seeing the caseload drop in our county is especially encouraging to me. I feel like our social distancing is working. However, the case numbers rising in more populated areas convinces me that if we relax our vigilence we will undo all the good that we have done so far. Governor Whitmer has extended the stay at home order until May 15th, while relaxing some of the restrictions on certain businesses. I think that she is making wise, informed decisions to best serve the citizens of this state. We need more of this calm and reasonable leadership across the country and particularly in Washington.

I visited my daughter and her family today. We walked in the church parking lot across the street from their house for about an hour. My two year old granddaughter did a very good job of social distancing, but my daughter had a leash for her just in case. We enjoyed being out in the fresh air together, talking about how we can maintain our family connections and safely navigate the next weeks and months. And, I got to see that baby girl up close through the glass storm door.

DAY 41

Miss Nine finished her schoolwork yesterday. She has to turn it all in tomorrow. I wish she would take her time with it because now we have two days to fill. Today she spent far too much time on her tablet, and when I made her put it away she wanted me to play "family" with her. I asked why we had to play family when we are a family. This involved me being the dad who just came home from work. She was the mom telling me that the baby had been fussy all day and she needed a break. I can relate to that. She asked how my day at work was and I told her it was stressful. She asked if it was That Dude again. I am not sure what dude she was talking about but I played along. In the midst of all this I got a phone call. When I hung up she said " I was quiet while you were on the phone but I had a whole story going on in my head." I am sure she did. We also played Potato Heads. I was daddy potato and brother potato. We made a lot of jokes about spuds, french fries, and tater tots. Mom and sister potato did not think we were funny. We thought we were hilarious.

I tried something new at Meijer today. I downloaded their Shop and Scan app to my phone. I put my reusable bags in my cart and started shopping. As I took an item off the shelf I scanned it with my phone and put it in a bag. It was going pretty well until I got to a dead zone in the cereal aisle and could not get a signal. I put the rest of my groceries in the cart and waited until I got to a better location and finished scanning and bagging them. When I was finished I got in line at the self serve checkout. When it was my turn to check out I scanned a spot on the screen and my order popped up. The cashier came over and scanned a few things in my cart, I guess to double check my order. I paid and I was out the door. It took me longer to shop because it was new to me, but I liked having all of my groceries already bagged. I do not like the idea of putting a cashier out of a job, so I will not continue to do this when we are no longer social distancing.

DAY 40

On this 50th Earth Day we planned to create a zoo in the front yard, but it was cold and threatening rain this morning. Miss Nine set up her zoo in the dining room window. We rummaged through the recycle bin and pulled out some materials to reuse in crafting. Miss Nine got creative and made a few things to share with the family. She also made a small planter stand for succulents to put in her room.

It would seem that this shut down has been good for Mother Earth. Billions of people off the streets and restricted travel have caused a vast reduction in air pollution and other threats to our environment. Turtles are nesting on beaches in Thailand in record numbers. The sky over Los Angeles is amazingly clear of smog. Zoo keepers in Hong Kong have tried unsuccessfully for ten years to get Pandas to mate. They finally mated in the absence of zoo visitors. I have said many times that the best hope for planet earth is the extinction of human beings. We seem to be proving that theory. I really hope that we learn from this and go on to make changes in the way we live. We are seeing in real time what can be done to improve the environment for ourselves and the creatures that we share this planet with.

Forty Days. This plague of biblical proportions seems to be never ending. Even Noah got a reprieve after forty days and forty nights of isolation on his water craft.

DAY 39

We own a small business. We service swimming pools and have a retail store selling pool related items - chemicals, toys, equipment, etc. Since we are seasonal here in Michigan we were just gearing up for 2020 when the stay at home order went into effect. As soon as the schools closed we had customers who wanted their pools opened. Even though the weather was cold, they planned to crank up their heaters and deal with the sky high gas or electric bills.

We have not been able to open our store, but have set up a water sample drop off station in front of the building. Customers can leave a water sample, which we test and then call them with the results. We also offer curbside pickup of chemicals or other things that they might need. Evidently we are deemed non-essential, but if you have a pool that is up and running it is essential that you keep the water balanced so that you don't end up with a swamp.

Additionally we were relocating to a new building in March. Luckily we had a Pod filled and moved to the new location early in the month. We had employees in for several weeks unloading the pod and organizing the new store. My husband and one employee have opened a few pools over the last couple of weeks. They are outside and do not have to come in contact with the pool owners. We are doing everything that we can to keep our employees and our customers safe.

I do all of the bookwork and can access my work computer from home, but I still have to go into the office on occasion to pick up checks for bank deposits and to do miscellaneous paperwork. Miss Nine has her own desk in the corner of my office where she does schoolwork or plays office while I am working. It is not at all easy to focus with a nine year old chattering away five feet away. I saw a post on Facebook that said "being quarantined with a talkative child is like having an insane parrot superglued to your shoulder." Truer words have never, ever been spoken.

We applied at our bank for a small business loan offered by the federal government. The interest rate is 1%. If we use the money for payroll, rent on our building and utilities the loan will be forgiven. This is an attempt by the government to prevent small businesses from failing. This money is intended to cover two months expenses while the economy is at a standstill. I know that this is a lifesaver for us and for many other businesses. Last year at this point in April we took in $8815.57. This year we have taken in $3634.86 in the same time period. This seriously impacts our ability to pay our bills and our employees.We have not seen any money from this loan yet, even though we applied on the first day we could. The initial $349 billion evidently ran out and now Congress is funding an additional $340 billion for this program. That is a whole lot of money.

I have given a lot of thought to the fact that our society is structured in such a way that we can have this much financial difficulty in such a short time. I don't exactly know what the lesson is here, but I hope we all learn it and do things differently in the future.

DAY 38

I woke up feeling very out of sorts. I continue having disturbing dreams, some I can remember when I wake up, some leave me with a feeling of dread even though I can't remember the details. A friend posted this image on Facebook. I found it to be very informative. I see several of these at work with Miss Nine, and with myself.

The difficulty sleeping has eased in the last week or so. Miss Nine is now sleeping in our room because she feels safer, and she is sleeping through the night. We are both overplanning, organizing, and scheduling. Organization is our go to drug of choice when we feel out of control. I am getting angry more easily as I lose patience with everything and everybody. Dirty dishes left in the sink irritate me. The dog barking irritates me. Plenty of things are triggering my need to be in control of something, anything. I am angry at this virus and the way it is disrupting our lives. I am angry at the incompetence of our government in preparing for a situation like this. I am angry at the people who insist on gathering in large crowds and dragging this on longer.

This morning at breakfast I was trying to read ONE PAGE in a daily reader. Miss Nine was talking to me and I asked her to please be quiet while I finished reading. Then she raised her hand to get my attention. When I ignored her hand she started waving it in front of my face. I did not react well to that. I just wanted to read the page, which coincidentally was about maintaining your cool.

DAY 37

Adapting to our new lifestyle has taken some imagination and patience. Figuring out how to get our needs met without exposing ourselves unnecessarily to the virus is quite a challenge. Buying groceries was the first obstacle. Online ordering works well if you are not in a big hurry. Delivery and pickup schedules can take days. Going in person to the store can tax your mental health. Seeing all of the shoppers in their masks, avoiding contact with each other is depressing. The last time I was grocery shopping Plexiglas shields had been put up between the cashier and the customer. A man was checking out in front of me who was a head taller than the top of the Plexiglas. So how is that going to work? I am going to try Meijer Shop and Scan next time I go out. I understand that you scan the prices with your phone as you shop, bag the groceries right in your cart, and pay at checkout. I am interested to see how this works.

We have ordered dinner a few times because I get sick of trying to figure out what to feed these people. College Boy is not an adventurous eater, and managing to feed him a healthy meal on a daily basis is really hard. Having pizza delivered is a no-brainer. We have ordered online and had delivery or pickup for years. Other restaurants took some getting used to. Last night I went to Applebees website. They offer a scaled down menu right now. We all found something that we liked and I placed the order. I was given a time for pickup, asked what kind of vehicle I was driving, and paid by debit card online, including a big tip. When I pulled in to the parking lot I texted my arrival and the food was brought to my car by a mask and glove wearing server. She put my bags on the front seat and I drove home.

I have been wanting to paint my porch railings since last summer. Amazon delivered three cute birds that I ordered to put on my porch. I could not put them up until I painted, and of course I did not have any exterior white paint in my stash. I called our local hardware store and asked if they had any. They did. I paid for it over the phone. The sales clerk told me to call when I got there and she would bring it out. I backed into the parking space in front of the door and popped my rear door open. She came right out when I called and before you could say corona virus covid-19 I was home painting my porch.

I am going to have to be careful that I don't spend too much time shopping online. I have time on my hands and stimulus money burning a hole in my checking account. Those birds really are cute, though, aren't they?

DAY 36

Whenever a kid says to me "I'm bored" I tell them "only boring people get bored. You are not a boring person, so find something to do." I am working really hard at not being a boring person. It is the weekend (I think) so we are not doing schoolwork. This leaves many hours to fill.

I certainly have enough around this house to keep me busy. At first I thought that everything would be really clean and organized when we are finally set free. The reality is that we are all here. All the time. Messing things up. Miss Nine has stuff everywhere. Normally I would make her keep our common areas cleaned up, but nobody is coming over and I have relaxed that rule quite a bit. The dining room has become the school room, with all of the materials that are required, and then some. We are dirtying more dishes. I run the dishwasher every single day.

I have a very large room full of all manner of craft supplies. Fabric, yarn, beads, weaving looms, rug hooking supplies, scrapbook paper and doodads, etc. etc. etc. In the last month I have made a hundred face masks, a pair of baby pajamas, and I am now working on two blankets for my littlest littles. I have already mentioned my jigsaw puzzle supply. There is no excuse for boredom here, but I feel it creeping in.

Today I gave our dog a bath. She seriously needs to see the groomer, but they are closed. I attempted to groom her myself a few times last year in an effort to save money. The first time wasn't bad. The second time was a little iffy. By the third grooming she looked like she had been run over by a lawn mower. After her bath today I trimmed around her face a little. Her bangs were getting in her eyes. Hopefully we will be able to get a proper grooming soon.

I spent some time cleaning my basement the other day. I made a pile of stuff to put in a garage sale. I organized my paint and all of my canning supplies. I rearranged all of the holiday decorations. I had half of the basement done in about two hours. One day next week I will tackle the other side of the basement. Months ago I bought some bright orange paint for the basement stairs. They are grey and so is the basement floor. It is not easy to see where one step ends and the next one begins when you are carrying things down. Once I missed the last step because I thought I was at the bottom. I was carrying an armload of canning jars. I'm lucky I did not impale myself on broken shards of glass. Today I put a stripe of paint on the edge of each step. It felt like a huge accomplishment.

Maybe tomorrow I will organize my underwear drawer. Am I boring you yet?

DAY 35

I realized this morning that I had two Day 32 posts in this blog. I can't keep track of what day it is, or even what month it is. I couldn't figure out the day a couple of days ago until I finally looked at the bottom of my computer screen. My first thought was "how in the world is it April 15th already?" I have a very nice planner that I use along with my Google calendar that syncs with my phone. I like to say that I live and die by my calendar. I normally have dozens of things scheduled every month, If it is not on my calendar it does not get done. My planner pages now look like a vast waste of paper. Days and weeks with nothing to do, nowhere to go. Six weeks ago I woke up every morning and looked at my calendar first thing to remind myself of what I had going on. Today I have no trouble remembering what I have to do. Nothing.

My new baby granddaughter is now three weeks old and I have not been able to hold her. I see her on FaceTime. I saw her from about ten feet away one day when my daughter brought her out into the yard while we chatted for a few minutes. She has already lost that newborn feel and smell that I love so much. She is becoming more alert every day and will be smiling before we know it. The thought that this may go on indefinitely is unbearable to me. I am not afraid of dying. What I am afraid of is dying alone without my family around me. I am afraid of never hugging my children again. I am afraid of dying without ever holding that baby girl. I read in the paper today that our local hospital is now doing drive through testing without a referral from a doctor. I am willing to get tested if I can just hold that baby one time before she is half grown.

Miss Nine turned in all of her schoolwork for the week. There were a few glitches in the system. A math game that the kids were supposed to play did not work properly so she could not post her score. We had some issues figuring out how to turn in her work in specials (art, music, p.e. technology) but we got that figured out. I am sure it will go more smoothly next week. At noon her teacher held a Zoom meeting with the class. She will be holding those meetings every week. I am so glad that she is doing this so that the kids can see and feel connected to each other and their teacher.

Next year I hope I never hear the words "I don't want to go to school."

Day 34

It's been snowing on and off for a few days. In some ways it makes it easier to be stuck at home when it's cold outside. However, I am sick of winter and want to be outside, working in the yard, going for walks, riding my bike. Hopefully the cold won't last much longer.

Miss Nines technology teacher gave the kids an assignment to make and post a video saying hi to all of their friends. We had fun looking at all of the other videos and seeing her classmates. She finished up her assignments that are due tomorrow and is all ready to turn them in. Google classroom is such a great tool for the teachers and students right now.

I subscribed to Raddish Kids for Miss Nine. https://www.raddishkids.com/ A box comes once a month with recipes, a cooking utensil, lessons in using kitchen tools, and activities. She got her first box today. It contained an apron and a scooper/spreader. A badge comes with each box that you can sew onto your apron.

One of the recipes was for Carrot Cake Cookies, so we made some. We were able to use the leftover cream cheese frosting from our amazing cupcakes. The cookies are awesome!

Miss Nine had an opportunity to Face Time with the school counselor. Miss Nine gave a virtual tour of her bedroom and talked about all of the things that have been bothering her. They spent about an hour talking and when they were done she said that she felt much better. What a blessing the school staff have been! The counselor said that she thinks the school staff are closer than they have ever been because of the issues that they have had to navigate. I believe it. I think that learning how to deal with all of this is going to change many relationships, hopefully for the better.


College Boy mowed the lawn today, in spite of the snow. Typical spring day in Michigan.

Day 33

Today Miss Nine made her own list. She had the same items that were on my list yesterday, and a few extra. Near the middle of the list she wrote "do give mom a hard time." When she read it to me she said DO NOT give mom a hard time. She was much more cooperative today, which just shows me that we are both better off when she is self motivated.

The governor has ordered all garden centers to close and I have read about people complaining that they cannot buy seeds for their gardens. When I was in Meijer today there were racks of seeds in the middle of the store. Seeds can be ordered online as well. There were not, however, jigsaw puzzles to be had. I am working on the last of my puzzle stash. Normally at this time of year I would not be starting another puzzle when the weather is warming up. It is snowing here today, and being stuck at home with the weather still cold has me wanting some more puzzles. I tried to find puzzles online with no luck. Here is what I found in the game aisle at Meijer. I was very disappointed. When I stood in line waiting to pay for my groceries I looked at the end cap, and to my happy surprise there was a rack of puzzles! I bought six.

A mass protest against the Governor Whitmer's  stay at home order was held in Lansing today. Hundreds of cars drove around the capital building, many people left their cars and carried signs. They interfered with ambulance access to Sparrow Hospital.  I wonder how many of them would not be alive today if their grandparents, great grandparents or great great grandparents had not been in quarantine in 1918. I also wonder how many of them exposed themselves unnecessarily today.

DAY 32

The novelty of home schooling is officially wearing thin. A student revolt took place which ended in a sit-in. Sitting in a time out chair, actually. She was given a list of things to do in the morning to prepare for the day. Eat breakfast, get dressed and washed up, pick up her messes and make her bed. She flat out refused to do any of it. Finally I told her that she had a choice, she could do the things on her list or sit in a chair all day. She chose the chair. After five minutes she was fidgeting and making noises. I ignored her. Then she started talking, mainly b**ching me out. I ignored her. She got louder. I went into another room, closed the door and turned on some music. She came to the door and said loudly "I know you can hear me!" I told her to go back to her chair. It took her about twenty five minutes total before she decided that she would "do my stupid list." I told her that I have dealt with the likes of her before and if she thinks she can outlast me she is sorely mistaken.

I keep thinking that going through this together is going to make us closer as she becomes a teenager. That is my hope, anyway. It could go totally the other way and we will be sick of each other. If we all come out of this with any semblance of sanity it will be nothing short of a miracle.

Our town cemetery cleans up all of the grave blankets and wreaths in the spring. They are piled up near the lake to await transport to the landfill. All this dried up greenery is full of ribbons, flowers and other holiday items. My neighbor called this afternoon and told me that the clean up had been done and that she was heading over to look through it. Miss Nine and I met her there and working on opposite sides of the pile at a safe distance we picked through the pile, pulling off decorations to save for future projects. It's the most exciting thing we have done in days! Isolation has turned us into grave robbers. Remember this next year when you receive a lovely floral arrangement with questionable origins.

DAY 31

Today we received some concrete direction regarding ongoing schoolwork. The teacher will post math and language assignments in Google classroom every Monday. The students are to complete them at their own pace and turn them in on Friday. The teachers have put together resources for Specials (art, music, p.e., technology) that the kids can choose from each day. I am happy that they finally have a solid plan in place to get our kids through the school year.

We listened to Spring by Vivaldi and then discussed how the music made us feel, and how other kinds of music affects us. When we watched E.T. a week or so ago we noticed how some of the music seemed scary, and if we turned the volume down the movie did not seem scary. Miss Nine could see how music is considered a universal language because everyone can listen and feel the emotions that songs bring up. We also went out on the back porch, closed our eyes and paid attention to the sounds and smells of spring. Then Miss Nine wrote her impressions of the music and the outdoor activity.

When we came in we did an art project using Easter egg shells. I am a rabid recycler and it makes me ecstatically happy to use something that we might have thrown away. So, save your garbage and get creative!

DAY 30

Easter Sunday. The day started out as it usually does, with Miss Nine waking us up early to see what the Easter Bunny brought. I hid eggs in the yard after breakfast so that she could hunt for them, and then we peeled them and made deviled eggs. The rest of the day was quite different than past holidays. No family coming over for a big dinner and no cousins to play with. We talked with everyone on the phone. We took a drive and delivered Easter treats to grandkids around the county. I took deviled eggs to one because he loves them so much, and took some to my aunt and cousin.

My husband got our kites down from the loft in the garage and we went to the local football field and flew them. There were a couple of other families there walking or just running around in the warm spring air. I made hamburgers, homemade french fries, jello with bananas and strawberry shortcake for dinner. A far cry from our normal spread that takes half the day to put together and the rest of the day to clean up. Then we went for a bike ride around town.

I will never again let myself feel overwhelmed with the preparations for a family get together. I tell my grandson often that he is not going to make any memories staying in his room alone. Wonderful memories are made when we gather together to celebrate the joys and sorrows of life, or just to hang out together on a normal day. I'm not sure what normal will look like in the future, I hope that none of us ever forget what it is like to be unable to spend time with our loved ones, no matter how much they annoy or frustrate us.

Not that I annoy or frustrate anyone...

DAY 29

Here we are into week five. Unbelievable. Our governor has extended the stay at home order until the end of April. Three more weeks, and I don't have a bit of confidence that it will end there. The number of cases in our county passed two hundred today. The death count is at three, one of them being a man who was my science teacher in Junior High. He died yesterday. I knew that he was in the hospital with the virus. Each day that went by with no report of his death gave me hope that he would survive it. My heart aches for his family, and for all of the families who have lost a loved one to this invisible killer.

This morning Miss Nine asked me if I wanted to play Counselor with her. She has had an on and off career as a Life Coach over the last couple of years. She is kind of like Lucy Van Pelt in the Peanuts comic strip. The advice she gives can be pretty deep for such a young girl. Well, I played along. She sat on her side of the desk and I sat on the other. In a very professional voice she asked me what my problem was today. I told her that I was stuck in the house and I was running out of ways to entertain myself. She said, "let's talk about the things you like to do and then we will make a list of things to keep you occupied." Interestingly, the list ended up being mostly what she would like to do.

• Read every day for one hour
• Make scrunchies for Miss Nine
• Walk for 20 minutes every other day
• Bike ride for 20 minutes every other day
• Journal in a notebook
• Take a room decor class by Miss Nine
• Play with Miss Nine for 45 minutes every day
• Teach Miss Nine in person
• Play games with Miss Nine and Papa

I think she was really counseling herself, which is something that we all can do if we look inward in an honest way. We played Barbies for 45 minutes after our counseling session.

We have the best neighbors on the planet, I swear. We keep each other cheered up in so many ways. Today two women across the street asked if they could bring over something for Miss Nine. It was all very secretive. I had to keep her occupied while they dropped off the surprise. She went outside and found a bag hanging on the front door knob. In the bag was a pretty pink purse, some a Lego kit, a bunny, and other assorted things that a little girl would love. The cupcakes, flowers, chalk messages and gifts are helping to make this isolation much more bearable.

DAY 28

It was pointed out to me recently that I don't talk about what is going on with College Boy very much. He is on the Autism Spectrum, and is not a social butterfly on a normal day. His life has not changed a bit other than the fact that he had to come home from school after only three weeks. He is alive and well and living life pretty much as he has for years. Holed up in his room playing video games online and talking to friends on the phone. It's difficult to gauge how he is doing emotionally because he does not talk about his feelings, or show much emotion. I have made more of an effort to go into his room and talk about what is going on. I make him come downstairs and eat dinner with us. I have asked what his friends are saying about world events, and if he is staying in contact with his friends from school. I am confident that he is weathering this better than most of us.

I am sad and grieving many things these days, one being the fact that he had to leave school. He struggled through high school, and we worked very hard to get him into this trade school. He attended four weeks of career assessment there last September. He loved being there, living in a dorm and hanging out with other kids like him. He had to wait for an opening in his program of choice, which started at the end of February. He was settled in and doing well in his classes. He likes his roommate. It's been such a positive experience and to have to bring him back home was devastating, for me anyway. He is now being offered some distance learning options until they can go back, but for a kid who spends far too much time in front of a screen it seems like ten steps backwards.

Miss Nine colored eggs today for art class. She is excited about Easter, but unhappy about the fact that she will be the only kid here for our traditional egg hunt. She chose another Lego challenge, building her dream tree house. Of course now she wants to actually build a tree house in the back yard. She camped put in the t.v. room again with Papa tonight. She says he watches boring stuff like How It's Made, Cooking with Cowboy Kent Rollins and Star Trek and it puts her right to sleep. Whatever works, right?

The Pastry Chef from next door brought us some Easter cupcakes. I truly appreciate them. Miss Nine ate one right away. I am trying to ignore the other three but they are calling to me from the kitchen.

DAY 27

We started off the day with a Scholastic story about a young woman, Veronica Watson, who won a contest making her a master model builder at Legoland Discovery Center in Yonkers, New York. She worked there for two years after college and then left to study architecture at Colombia University. We talked about how Lego bricks can be used in math, and did an activity that involved calculating the volume of a Lego building. (Length x width x height = volume, in case you are wondering). We then created new species of bugs that have never before been seen on the planet. Kind of like this corona virus bug. Miss Nine wrote a note to her teacher explaining how this story and activity connected with her own life. We took pictures of our bugs and also sent them to the teacher.


Next came art class, which today meant painting a rainbow on the dining room window. We posted it to the Facebook page Rainbows Over Michigan. https://www.facebook.com/groups/714162149389867/ Miss Nine kept saying, "I can't believe you are letting me paint on the windows!" I am allowing a lot of things these days that I normally would not.

We had about a dozen apples that were on the verge of getting too soft, so we made applesauce. It's so yummy when it's warm. A little cinnamon on top makes it even better.

It's becoming increasingly difficult to maintain any semblance of good mental health. Weeks of isolation is wearing on all of us. This little girl is trying hard to understand why her world has been turned upside down. It's heartbreaking to listen to her asking when it will be over, will she be able to have her birthday party in July, when can she see her friends and her cousins. This afternoon she was very sad, and seemed so depressed that I reached out to the school counselor. I am hoping that she can Zoom or Facetime with her in the near future. Today she said "I don't know how to feel about any of this". I told her that whatever she was feeling was the right way. I keep reassuring her that we are all having a hard time, and that it is normal to be confused and sad. She and Papa are camping out in the t.v. room. Papa thinks that a campout can fix anything that ails you.

Oh, and thanks to whoever left the Easter surprise in our Little Free Library! Chocolate is good medicine, too!

DAY 26

John Prine died yesterday from covid-19. I've watched the news about him since he became ill, hoping that he would recover. His age and underlying health issues were working against him, though. Losing a world class songwriter and singer is no worse than losing a friend, neighbor or family member. However, there is such a universal feeling of loss when someone like John succumbs to the thing that we are all fighting against. My husband and I have long been fans of John Prine. We sing his song "In Spite of Ourselves" quite often. Our kids renamed it "The White Trash Song" when they were younger and embarrassed by the lyrics. We don't sing it in front of the grandkids. Maybe we should.

You decide:
https://youtu.be/O77VyANlE2g

Today my husband took Miss Nine out on his boat to do some fishing at Thompson Lake. They brought a picnic lunch and made a day of it. They reported seeing many kayaks on the lake, and a swan and babies in a nest on one of the islands. This happily left me to entertain myself for the day. I tackled some paperwork that had been piling up. It's difficult to do that while being distracted by children and their needs.

Our dining room table came from my great grandparents farm house. My dad loved to sit at the table and tell stories about joining the thrashers at dinner during harvest time. Many wonderful meals were enjoyed around that old table. It has taken quite a beating over the years. At some point one of my grandfathers or an uncle put some big screws through the top of the table to secure it to the base. Scratches and dings attest to the abuse it has seen at the hands of numerous children. I have thought about cleaning it up a little, but never wanted to lose the character that it has gained throughout the years. Today I decided to take it outside and lightly sand it. I did one leaf first in case I was not happy with the result. After sanding I put a coat of stain and sealer on it. When that was dry I rubbed it all over with beeswax. I am very happy with it. And those great big screws are staying.

DAY 25

I promised my aunt I would go to Costco today and get dog food for her. She was going to go on Sunday and I insisted that she let me go. I told her that I would go early this morning because they only let shoppers over sixty come between 8 and 9:00. Last night I dreamed that I was at Costco and there was no dog food. I searched and searched but could not find any kind whatsoever. I got up early and arrived at Costco at 7:55. It was pouring rain. People were lined up all the way around to the back of the building waiting to get in. Those people were not waiting the required number of feet apart, either. They only let a certain number of people in at a time, so the line was not really moving. I took one look at that and decided that those dogs could eat something else. They will eat cat poop for crying out loud.  My daughter told me that her brother in law waited for two hours to get into Costco recently. What in the world could they possibly have that would make someone wait for two hours? It's not like you are getting tickets to a wicked awesome concert. Nothing could possess me to wait in that line. I went home. I ordered some dog food from Pet Smart, drove up to the store and they loaded it in the back of my car. I won't be going to Costco again for a good long time.

Miss Nine and I spent some time working on math and then she wrote a letter to her aunt. We did some house work and read for an hour. She played the piano and her recorder. Then it was lunch and nap time.

I bought myself a new bike. It arrived in a box today, lots of assembly required. My husband and I put it together while Miss Nine played in the box. When we had it all together Miss Nine and I went for a bike ride. I have a very nice bike that I bought a few years ago, but after knee surgery and a fall off the bike I was not feeling very confident riding any more. So this is what I bought, a one way ticket to geezerville.

DAY 24

Oh, how quickly we adjust to what seems unacceptable. Last week when I went to Kroger I was nearly in tears seeing all of the people wearing masks. This morning I went to Kroger - and I wore a mask. Most of the shoppers were wearing them and it did not bother me at all. I went early, there were not many people in the store at 7:45, but a cashier told me that dozens of people were lined up to get in at 7:00.

Miss Nine started working on the math lessons that her teacher assigned online. There were a few tears and some frustration (Miss Nine was fine though). Seriously, she wanted to do all five lessons but I convinced her to save some for later in the week.

We have grown accustomed to staying home and entertaining ourselves. Every day walks, schoolwork, meal preparations and napping take up a good chunk of the day. I am beginning to wonder how we ever had time to leave the house.

We took a walk today to our neighborhood park. We found the play equipment surrounded by caution tape, with a sign warning that all public parks are closed until further notice. There was a sign warning of possible fines for violating the closure. Miss Nine was disappointed. We were not even able to use the Clorox wipes we brought with us.

When we got home we found a lovely surprise outside our front door. A pot of  narcissus and a chalked heart were on the sidewalk. Thanks to the neighborhood elf (we know who you are!) who cheered us up with this! These are the things that are holding us all together. The little acts of love and kindness that remind us of what is important. We will survive and be better for the challenges we have faced.

Every night at bedtime Miss Nine talks about all of the things that she is sad about right now. Then we talk about the things that we have to be grateful for. We are especially thankful for our wonderful friends and neighbors.

DAY 23

I started off the day with a Zoom meeting with some friends. What a blessing it is to have resources like Zoom and Facetime so that we can stay connected to each other! Seeing the faces of those we love makes it slightly less unbearable to be secluded in isolation.

After my meeting I worked on an application for a paycheck protection program being offered to businesses affected by the forced shutdown. I spent a good part of the day reading through the requirements and gathering documents. Here again the wonders of technology are so helpful. I could download reports from our payroll service, access my business computer from home to look up company information, and when I have everything gathered together I can upload it all to the bank website. We cannot open our store, but we are offering curbside pickup and water testing, and are scheduling pool openings for the future. This loan program will allow us to pay our employees even though we will not be fully operational for a few weeks (hopefully not months). 

We delivered the cupcakes and presents to the Birthday Boy. College Boy even came out of his room and joined us. We spent some time in the front yard talking and playing with his new puppy. He opened his presents and ran around the yard with his dog and his cousins. He told me about the report he is working on for school that has to be turned in tomorrow, and that he is sick of being stuck in the house. I told him that he will never forget this birthday. Before we left I took a calculated risk. I put on a face mask, gave him one to put on, and slathered hand sanitizer on our hands. Then I gave him a big hug. F**k it, it's his birthday.

DAY 22

Saturday, day 22, ugh. It's starting to seem like that movie Groundhog Day. Same day, everyday.

I have always slept very well. When other women my age talk about how they have trouble sleeping I am so thankful that I don't have that problem. Well, I have not been sleeping very well the last week or so, And I am having very strange dreams. Most of them seem to be about loss of control. Imagine that. Also I am a professional power napper. I take a 15 or 20 minute nap every day. I've always been able to just turn my brain off and go to sleep. My off button seems to be malfunctioning. I can't even seem to nap like I usually do. My husband, who never sleeps very well, is also having disturbing dreams. He was slow to realize the enormity of what is happening, but he sure gets it now.

We had a project to work on today. We could not put it off as we are selling a house and the project needed to be done before closing, per the appraiser. They required us to put a railing around the front porch, which is only a foot off the ground. When we bought the house nobody said a thing about it, but whatever. We love a project on a good day, and it was a welcome distraction today. I ordered the materials from Home Depot online. When the order was ready we went to pick it up. The entrance was blocked and guarded by employees only letting one person in at a time. I went to the service desk and turned in my paperwork, then they sent me out a different door to wait in the truck while someone brought the order out to us. We were in and out with our stuff in fifteen minutes. We gathered power tools and had the railing up in about a hour and a half.

After nap time, such as it was, Miss Nine and I made some more of those amazing chocolate cupcakes. Tomorrow is our grandsons 13th birthday. We are going to drive out and deliver cupcakes and presents. I am so sad that he cannot have a proper celebration for this milestone birthday. I told him that when this is over we will have the biggest birthday bash ever. Miss Nine has a birthday coming up in July. She keeps asking if we will be back to normal before her birthday. I sure hope we are.