DAY 109

I was finally able to take our dog, Bella, to her regular groomer. Bella was not as happy as I was about this. She hates going to the groomer. As with the hair salon, you have to wait outside until there are no other customers in the lobby. Then you go in with your dog, take off their leash and put them in a crate. After that you leave and the groomer comes and gets them out of the crate. The process is reversed when you pick your dog up. Of course, you have to pay for the grooming. The front counter is surrounded by plexiglass, with a little slot cut out for the credit card machine.

Bella was happy to be back in the car and headed home with her new do and a pretty little scarf which she promptly pulled off her neck.

DAY 106

First we had a toilet paper shortage, then every other grocery item you could imagine, and now we are suffering from a coin shortage. I saw this sign in Walgreens and I thought it was some kind of joke. I said to the clerk, "they can just make more can't they?" He agreed. Now I have seen the same kind of sign in several other places. Evidently, because of our quarantine situation, people are not circulating coins in the way that they normally do. According to the Federal Reserve, "The Covid-19 pandemic has significantly disrupted the supply chain and normal circulation patterns for U.S. coin." Unbelievable.

I also heard that people do not want to handle coins for fear of the virus. I have found myself being much more careful when handling money in our business. I used to lick my finger before counting large stacks of bills to get a better grip on them. I don't do that now. I bought some of those rubber finger covers but I hate them. They are awkward to use.

There seems to be no end to the ways that this virus is affecting every area of our lives. I can't wait to see what's next.

DAY 104

I have had my printer for about ten years. It decided to stop working a couple of weeks ago and nothing I tried fixed the situation. Time for a new printer. Should be easy, right? No, it has been very difficult to find a printer. Since so many people are working from home and buying printers to facilitate their work, there is now a printer shortage.

I finally settled on a printer that I felt would work for me among the few that were available online. I ordered it and had to wait a week and a half for it to be delivered. It came, I set it up, and the thing would not print. I ran the troubleshooter several times and still no luck. So, I put it all back in the box and took it to our local Best Buy to return it. After completing my return I went to the back of the store to see if they possibly had anything. The shelves were bare.

I got back online and finally settled on a color laser all in one machine. Way more printer than I need but it was the best choice I could find. This thing faxes, scans, has wifi capability and I think it will launch the space shuttle. It was delivered in a few days and works great. I am back in business.

DAY 102

I got a haircut today. What a welcome relief! I was a little reluctant to do it but felt very reassured when I entered the shop. Plexiglas barriers have been installed at the front desk. Decorative barriers separate the shampooing stations. Everyone in the shop wore a mask. And when I say everyone I mean only two other employees and one customer. After my shampoo, the chair and sink were sanitized immediately by someone other than my stylist. We chatted through our masks while she cut my hair, talking about how we have coped with the whole Covid-19 debacle. I felt safe and secure and definitely more like myself when I walked out the door.

A friend of mine went to get her hair done a week or so ago and had quite a different experience. Her stylist is of the opinion that the whole thing is a hoax and that she has no responsibility to try and protect anyone by wearing a mask or taking other precautions. Sadly, there are too many people who feel the same way. I don't know how they can ignore the 120,333 who have died in this country in the last three months. I've said it before and I will say it again, you can't fix stupid.

DAY 101

My daughter and daughter in law came to my house for the first time since quarantine started. They brought lunch from Panera and we sat out on the deck and ate. They stayed for a couple of hours. It was so nice to sit and talk with them in person, rather than on Facetime. We did not hug when they arrived or departed.

These normal family gatherings are what I miss the most. The isolation that we are living in is soul-crushing.

DAY 100

Father's Day 2016

Day 100, Father's Day. My dad died almost two years ago and I miss him so much. I'd give anything for one more day with him, but at the same time, I am thankful that he did not have to witness what we have experienced in the last few months. He had the kindest heart, and it would have been so hard for him to see how his loved ones have suffered trying to function during this crisis.

My husband, his brother, son, and one grandson went out fishing early this morning. They actually caught some fish, which is a minor miracle. They have a history if coming home empty-handed from their fishing trips. I met them at the city park in the afternoon and the guys cooked their fish on a grill. My aunt and a friend of hers joined us. We sat on the hill eating fish, potato salad, and coleslaw. There were very few people in the park, a few boats out on the lake and probably twenty people swimming. In spite of things reopening it seems that there is still an abundance of caution being practiced by most people. It was a great pleasure to spend time with family on a Sunday afternoon. These simple things have become so much more precious to me, and I hope to others.

DAY 99

I feel a great sense of hope at this moment. Hope that there really is a monumental change happening in our country, and in our collective souls. In spite of all that is going wrong in the world, it seems that people are waking up to what is really important. Conversations are happening that are deeper and more meaningful. People are looking inside and acknowledging the ways that they have helped to perpetuate the oppression of others. This virus has brought about a reckoning that I hope will endure long past the time it takes us to resume some semblance of normal lives.

And, that man in Washington can't draw the huge crowds that he thrives on.

DAY 98

I took Miss Nine to the dentist today. This was an appointment that was scheduled six months ago, b.c. I received a call to confirm the appointment with instructions on how to proceed when we arrived. When we got into the parking lot I called the office and let them know that we were there. A hygenist came to the door to meet us, gave me some paperwork to sign, and took Miss Nine in for her check-up. I had the option to come into the waiting room or wait in my car. I waited in the car. When she was done the hygenist brought her out to my car and gave me a report on the state of her teeth. No cavities.

After the appointment, we headed to Romulus to visit with my daughter and her kids. We stopped in Ypsilanti on the way to drop off some things at a kids resale store.  There were only a couple of other customers in the store, and they now have a different procedure for dropping off your items. I put my basket on a shelf where the clerk wiped the handles before she sorted through the clothes. Everyone I saw in there wore a mask. I left the things there and told them I would be back later to pick up whatever they did not take.

At my daughter's house we sat in the yard while the kids played. Miss Nine and her cousin went for a bike ride. I am still not able to hold my new grandbaby or get too close to any of them. We ordered lunch from the local bowling alley bar and restaurant. When I went in to pick up lunch there were five people at the bar, two sitting at a table and one waitress. I was the only one wearing a mask. This was in Wayne County where there are still many new cases of the virus every day.

We stopped back at the resale store on the way home. I picked up the things that they did not want and received store credit for the things they kept. I did not have any desire to hang around and shop. We will go back another day for that.

Navigating the world these days sort of feels like walking through a minefield. It's exhausting. I came home and took a nap.

DAY 92

Many times I have thought that politics and religion will be the end of us. When I say religion I do not mean faith or spirituality, I mean the hardcore adherence to a certain set of beliefs that separates you from the rest of humanity. The belief that you are right and anyone who does not follow your particular view is wrong, the enemy. For a few years I belonged to a church that proclaimed itself to be the one true church. I grew disillusioned with that very quickly and stopped attending.

I have watched the response to many things over the years, but lately, it is the reaction to the pandemic and to the protests occurring around the world that has renewed my thoughts regarding this issue. People are taking sides based on their political or religious views rather than on facts or genuine concern for ourselves and our fellow human beings. Every issue seems to turn into our side against your side. When I hear people say "we don't discuss politics or religion" what I really hear is "I am set in my ways and I refuse to consider another point of view." This blind devotion to our beliefs is killing us. It is the reason we go to war, the reason we can justify the oppression of those who are not like us, the reason that we refuse to look beyond our own narrow interests and see that we are all one. Every living thing on this planet is interconnected and until we embrace that reality we will never stop trying to destroy ourselves and everything around us.

DAY 91

The weather for this weekend is beautiful, 70's and sunny. My husband has gone fishing and I spent the day working in the yard. That's all I've got for today.

DAY 90

Someone called from my hair salon today. They asked if I wanted to make an appointment for a haircut. "Yes, please" I replied. It has been three months and I am ready. I've been saying for weeks that I want a haircut, but I don't need one. I tell people that my hair is saving their lives. I made an appointment, the first available is in two weeks. I was given a whole list of rules I need to follow in order to get this haircut and a rundown of the precautions that are being taken in the salon.

1. Remain outside until 5 minutes before my appointment time.
2. They reserve the right to take my temperature before entering the salon.
3. I must wear a face mask with ear loops.
4. Hand sanitizer is available at every station, in the restroom, and at the desk.
5. The stylist will sanitize and disinfect her work station and tools between appointments. (I am not sure what the difference is between sanitizing and disinfecting).
6. If I need products I should call ahead to order them.
7. No one is allowed in without an appointment.
8. No food or beverages will be served (I am going for a haircut, not a snack).
9. No reading material will be available.
10. I am to leave any unnecessary personal items in my car.
11. The credit card terminal will be regularly sanitized.

This is a relief. I cut my husband's hair a few weeks ago, but I sure was not going to let him cut mine.

DAY 89

When I started this blog I never dreamed that I would still be at it eighty-nine days later. I was sure that the original school closing would go on for longer than three weeks, but the idea that we would still be here three months later was beyond the imagination. Yet, here we are. Three months of fear, uncertainty, illness, and death. Even though businesses are opening up and so many people feel free to resume their previous lives, I know many who are not ready to embrace a life of close contact with others. The virus is obviously still circulating. In many states, the number of cases continues to rise. So how do we go forward and what will we face in the future if we are not extremely smart about our interactions with the world?

I read an article about the response in Japan to the COVID 19 pandemic. The Japanese did not do many of the things recommended to slow the spread of the virus, but they did one thing immediately -  everyone began to wear a mask when they went out in public. As a result, the number of cases has been a fraction of what we have seen in the United States. We were told in the beginning to stop buying masks. There was no clear direction regarding the effectiveness of wearing a mask to prevent the spread of the virus. We were slow to begin this practice and even now when the evidence is clear people refuse to wear them because they are uncomfortable or they don't like the way they look. Not wearing a mask is seen by many as a political statement, which makes no sense to me whatsoever. This virus does not respect your politics.

A whole industry has sprouted up to fill the need for face masks. Companies have issued masks sporting their corporate logo to their employees. Patterns for masks, including some with cute animal faces for kids, began appearing on Pinterest in a hot minute. I received a package from Blue Cross/Blue Shield with a mask, disposable thermometers, and a packet of lettuce seeds. I am not sure how they think the lettuce is going to protect me, but I appreciate the thought. I am continuing to make face masks for my friends and family and to donate to the local hospital. I hope that face masks become the new fashion statement for 2020. I think I will make myself a tie-dyed mask and let my freak flag fly.

DAY 88

Today was the funeral for George Floyd. Hundreds of people gathered in a Houston, Texas church to mourn for and honor this man who is the embodiment of the suffocation long felt by black Americans. Protests have continued across the country and around the world in the wake of his murder. The mayor of Houston stood at his funeral and announced that he would ban the city's police from using chokeholds and strangleholds. Police departments around the country are scrambling to change their policies in response to the public outcry over the ongoing violence perpetrated by those charged with protecting us.

A New York City police officer surrendered to face criminal charges after he was recorded shoving a woman to the ground and cursing at her during a protest against police brutality. Two police officers in Buffalo, New York were charged after knocking a 75-year-old man to the ground during a protest. Democrats in Congress unveiled legislation aimed at combating excessive use of force and racial discrimination by police and making it easier to identify, track, and prosecute misconduct.

I saw a video of George Floyd's six-year-old daughter saying "my daddy changed the world." I hope she is right, but we are the ones who must change, and continue to stand up against injustice wherever we see it. We must work to create equality in whatever way is effective. Here is a link to a document outlining anti-racist resources. 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PrAq4iBNb4nVIcTsLcNlW8zjaQXBLkWayL8EaPlh0bc/mobilebasic?fbclid=IwAR2vsrujmidfAMCJlFmh6qYa2xwFwoOAfknvz8DcIXeCvWJx3FGkOSBcuik

I encourage you all to read and put into practice the many actions needed for true change. Let's show Gianna Floyd and all of our children a better, kinder world.  

DAY 87

The state of Michigan has now reached Phase 4 of Governor Whitmer's plan to reopen businesses. Restaurants are opening with reduced capacity. Dog groomers are making appointments. On June 15th hair, nail, and massage businesses can reopen. I know that many people are very anxious to finally be able to get a hair cut or have their nails done. I personally would love to get a hair cut, but I am not in any hurry to rush back into being in close proximity to very many people. I am wondering how the mask issue will work when getting a hair cut. I saw a post on Pinterest of a mask that you glue to your face somehow. That seems a little excessive. Although, I suppose you could get a haircut and wax your facial hair at the same time with that method.

Protest in Austin, Texas

The hope is that we will not see a massive rise in cases of covid-19 when the stay at home order is lifted. It will be interesting to see what happens in two weeks after all of the massive demonstrations around the country in the aftermath of the murder of George Floyd.

Miss Nine has resumed playing with a couple of friends. It is not possible to keep kids six feet apart when they are playing. The other parents and I have made the decision that the mental health of all involved (mainly the parents) far outweighs the risks. As of today, there are only thirty-five active confirmed cases of the virus in our county. The kids play outside in the pool or ride bikes together. Today Miss Nine's cousin came over for a few hours. His mom hugged me when she dropped him off. I cried like a baby.

DAY 86

This afternoon I watched Dear Class of 2020, a virtual graduation ceremony hosted on YouTube. The program began with Lizzo playing Pomp and Circumstance on the flute, joined by the New York Philharmonic on a Zoom type concert. Scenes of young people protesting the ongoing injustice against people of color played in the background.  The first speaker was Alecia Keys, talking about the challenges of graduating at this time in history, and particularly in relation to the killing of George Floyd and all of the protests happening around the world.

Barack and Michelle Obama, Beyonce, Condolezza Rice, Lady Gaga, Malala, Justin Timberlake, Tom Hanks, and many more celebrities spoke and performed for this ceremony. They offered encouragement and wisdom that can benefit young people graduating now, and indeed for all of us. Bart Simpson mooned the audience, with 2020 emblazoned across his butt cheeks. Marge Simpson having a nervous breakdown in the kitchen, surrounded by piles of dirty dishes, was priceless.

At the end of the broadcast, Barack Obama returned with some final words for the graduating class. "Yours comes as the world turned upside down, by a pandemic and a country swept up by protest. I can barely imagine how head-spinning these months have been for you." He said the peaceful protesters were "unbelievably inspiring. You make me optimistic about our future" because "the old normal wasn't good enough."

He is so right.

DAY 85

My calendar is actually starting to fill up with events that I need to pay attention to. Granted, the majority of them are Zoom meetings, but it's enough that I feel the need to check my calendar often so that I don't forget about something that I need to do. I will admit that I enjoyed not having a full calendar, but I know that can't go on forever.

Traffic in town is back to normal. While this signals a return to life as we knew it, I miss the feeling of being returned to a slower, more peaceful time. I have posed the question many times over the last weeks - how will we know when we are truly safe and secure in going about our lives without the threat of illness all around us. I suspect that there will be no specific day or thing that will signal this for us. I think that one day we will just realize that we've been in that place of renewed security for a while and did not even recognize it. We will greet a neighbor without feeling the need for six feet of distance. We will forget to wash our hands for the umpteenth time in one day. We will not dread grocery shopping, other than the normal "I hate grocery shopping." We will hug a friend, and hold on for a little longer, maybe a lot longer because we realize how truly precious that privilege is.

DAY 84

Donald Trump finally has his wall - around the White House. An eight-foot black fence now surrounds the perimeter. When armed protesters entered the capital building in Michigan because they were not happy with Governor Whitmer's stay at home order Trump tweeted "The governor of Michigan should give a little, and put out the fire. These are very good people, but they are angry. They want their lives back again, safely! See them, talk to them, make a deal."

Now when peaceful, unarmed protesters gather outside the White House a wall is erected between him and the citizens who truly want their lives back, safely. These are good people, angry people whose lives have been threatened and literally taken from them for centuries. These people are not protesting because they want to get a hair cut or go to a movie. They want to stop being murdered. Why can't he just "see them, talk to them, make a deal?"

DAY 83

A rally was held in downtown Howell today, in support of people of color who are protesting violence and injustice. The details of the event were a little sketchy. I was not sure who was organizing it, or if in fact, anyone was organizing it. Rumors were being circulated on social media about possible agitators coming in to disrupt the rally. There were also rumors about a group that was planning to have members present to assist law enforcement if necessary. The Howell police department advised businesses to close early or not open at all.

When I drove through town at about 9:00 in the morning there were several men milling around the war memorial in front of the courthouse, but I did not see anyone carrying weapons. I read a few posts on Facebook advising white people to avoid any protests that are not organized by Black Lives Matter or similar groups, and not to try and make this about us. One writer offered the opinion that white people in Howell Michigan were just trying to assuage our guilt over the history of our town, that a protest here was nothing more than performative. I gave a lot of consideration to these ideas before deciding whether I wanted to participate. I finally decided that we have to speak out. White people have been silent for too long. It is not enough to sit back and let the oppressed do all of the protesting.  I felt a deep need to show up and voice my anger and frustration over the ongoing crimes committed against my fellow human beings. And I wanted to set an example for Miss Nine.

We drove through town at about noon to see if anything was actually happening. There were about thirty people gathered in front of the courthouse. They were holding signs, wearing masks, and all was peaceful. We got our signs and sat on a bench for a few minutes while I talked to her about what was going on, then we joined the line of folks near the street. In addition to the people actively participating, about another twenty or thirty were just hanging around on the courthouse lawn, watching. Mind you, these were all white people, no one of color that I could see. Many drivers passing us honked and waved in support. At least one that I saw gave us the finger. We stayed for about an hour and went home.

I drove through town a couple of times later in the afternoon while running errands. By dinner time a hundred or more people were gathered, including a few African Americans, with not a sign of any problems. I read in the paper later that there were a couple of altercations between protesters and at least one bystander. One arrest was made, a young man who showed a gun as he drove by.

 I watched a video that Ellen Degeneres posted on Facebook. She talked about the protests going on around the world and the role that whites should or should not take. She made the observation that maybe some people don't say anything because they are afraid of saying the wrong thing. She asked her coworker, Twitch for his take on the situation. He said, "don't worry about saying the wrong thing, just say something. Speak up when you see or hear injustice." I thought about the times in my life when I have heard a racist joke or remark and stayed silent rather than calling the person out for it. I will never, ever do that again. We should not need people who are being oppressed to teach us how to respond to these things, but I am taking Twitch's advice to heart.

DAY 82

I feel as though I am watching something unfolding. Something so incredibly important, profound, and life-altering. Around the world, ongoing protests in the aftermath of the murder of George Floyd are bringing to the surface the long-overdue need for change in this country. I have watched videos of police and national guardsmen kneeling with protesters in solidarity. People of all races marching together, crying out for justice, for an end to the ugly reality of life in America for those of color.

That this is happening in the midst of a global pandemic is no accident. We have been feeling the frustration, uncertainty, and fear tied to covid-19 for months. We have watched the people who are supposed to lead us fail to do what is necessary to make us safer, putting their political ambitions first. Watching one more black man basically lynched for all to see and the slow response by authorities has pushed us over the edge. An edge that we should have been pushed over centuries ago. 

I watched a video last night, made by an African American gentleman who lives here in the town of Howell. He talked about how he and his family have lived here for several years, and that he has felt nothing but acceptance in this community. Hearing this filled my heart with joy. Knowing that despite the history of Howell this man and his family have found a home here shows me that there is hope. Hope for all of us to live kinder, more peaceful lives.

Evidently, there is a protest planned for tomorrow in downtown Howell. I will suit up, show up, and show my support for those who have lived in fear and oppression for far too long.

DAY 81

Governor Whitmer announced today that she is lifting the stay at home order, effective next week, easing restrictions on businesses. Restaurants will be allowed to offer indoor seating, with social distancing guidelines. Stores will be able to have customers come in without an appointment. Many people are thrilled with this news, and many are concerned about the possibility of an increase in COVID-19 cases. I hope that folks will continue to take every precaution so that we do not end up back in lockdown in the future. I really want our children to be able to go back to school in the fall. My sanity and serenity depend on it.

DAY 80

I have not been able to write for days. It should be quite enough that we are suffering a worldwide tragedy like nothing else in our lifetime. But no, evidently it is not. The shocking death of yet one more African American is tearing this country apart. George Floyd was murdered by a Minneapolis Police officer while three other officers stood by and watched. The man was handcuffed, on the ground, on his face. Yet Derek Chauvin deemed it necessary to kneel on his neck for nine minutes. Nine minutes while George Floyd pleaded that he could not breathe, crying for his mother. After six minutes George Floyd stopped struggling. He was dead, but Derek Chauvin continued to kneel on his neck. Several bystanders videotaped this travesty. I refuse to watch the video. I just cannot have that image in my brain.

The four officers were fired, but no arrests were made for five long days. Finally, Derek Chauvin was charged with third-degree murder and second-degree manslaughter. The three officers who stood by while George Floyd was murdered have not been charged. The protests, the outrage, the horror, are being expressed around the world. Night after night in cities all across America and around the world, people have gathered. Wearing masks, carrying signs saying "Justice for George Floyd", "Black Lives Matter", "I can't breathe". Today the supposed leader of the free world had peaceful protestors teargassed so that he could have his picture taken while holding up a bible. When asked by a journalist if it was his bible, he responded "it's a bible".

The small town I grew up in gained a reputation for racism years ago. The leader of the Michigan KKK lived north of town. He and his cronies sowed hatred and caused African Americans to avoid coming here for fear of what might happen to them. As a child, I had no idea that our little town was known for this evil. As an adult, I was appalled to learn the reality. That man died twenty-eight years ago, but the stain on our community endures. This week a woman who works for the state of Michigan posted on social media that the first place in Michigan to burn should be Howell. It is heartbreaking to me to know that my home is viewed in this way. I am at a loss as to how I can help change this.

People of color continue to be murdered at the hands of those who are charged with protecting them. Every white American should feel shame in the face of this reality. We love to think that we are the greatest country on earth, yet America was built on a foundation of genocide and slavery. There is absolutely nothing "great" about that. We try to fool ourselves, distancing from the sins of our forefathers, but the horror goes on and on. Generation after generation. We continue to kneel on the necks of black and brown people. Choking off their opportunities, their hope, their very lives.