DAY 35

I realized this morning that I had two Day 32 posts in this blog. I can't keep track of what day it is, or even what month it is. I couldn't figure out the day a couple of days ago until I finally looked at the bottom of my computer screen. My first thought was "how in the world is it April 15th already?" I have a very nice planner that I use along with my Google calendar that syncs with my phone. I like to say that I live and die by my calendar. I normally have dozens of things scheduled every month, If it is not on my calendar it does not get done. My planner pages now look like a vast waste of paper. Days and weeks with nothing to do, nowhere to go. Six weeks ago I woke up every morning and looked at my calendar first thing to remind myself of what I had going on. Today I have no trouble remembering what I have to do. Nothing.

My new baby granddaughter is now three weeks old and I have not been able to hold her. I see her on FaceTime. I saw her from about ten feet away one day when my daughter brought her out into the yard while we chatted for a few minutes. She has already lost that newborn feel and smell that I love so much. She is becoming more alert every day and will be smiling before we know it. The thought that this may go on indefinitely is unbearable to me. I am not afraid of dying. What I am afraid of is dying alone without my family around me. I am afraid of never hugging my children again. I am afraid of dying without ever holding that baby girl. I read in the paper today that our local hospital is now doing drive through testing without a referral from a doctor. I am willing to get tested if I can just hold that baby one time before she is half grown.

Miss Nine turned in all of her schoolwork for the week. There were a few glitches in the system. A math game that the kids were supposed to play did not work properly so she could not post her score. We had some issues figuring out how to turn in her work in specials (art, music, p.e. technology) but we got that figured out. I am sure it will go more smoothly next week. At noon her teacher held a Zoom meeting with the class. She will be holding those meetings every week. I am so glad that she is doing this so that the kids can see and feel connected to each other and their teacher.

Next year I hope I never hear the words "I don't want to go to school."