DAY 58

Mother's Day. I woke up to a gift and homemade card from Miss Nine. I received a gift in the mail from my oldest daughter, had a phone call from my son in Boston, and went to a baptism for my youngest grandchild who is six weeks old. The event was bittersweet. There could only be ten people in attendance, including the priest and the baby. We all wore masks and tried to maintain our required six feet of distance for the most part. There was no family celebration afterward. It felt to me like a ritual that had to be performed, with none of the joy that should have accompanied it. I was able to hold my granddaughter for the first time, for two minutes, then she was returned to the safety of her mother's arms. Feeling that I could be a danger to those that I love is torturous. The reality is that because of my age I am in more danger than they are, but everyone is afraid. I think the worst thing is seeing no end in sight.

My aunt came over for dinner and we had a very nice visit. She has been like a second mom to me my whole life. It was wonderful to spend some time with her and I gave her a hug when she left. I got another card from Miss Nine and College Boy. I wonder if they realize that me running away from home might still be an option.